Est-ce que mon texte (anglais) est bon ?

Bonjour à tous, j'avais un texte en anglais à faire ( Terminal ES), mais je ne suis pas très forte en anglais.. Pouvez-vous me dire si il est correct ? Merci ! :). Le sujet traîte de l'éducation Anglaise.

First of all, the British system of education is completely different from the french system and a little complicated. To begin with, the british system of education guarantees education until 16 or ever 18. This is from 5 years that school is compulsory, children will attend at the secondary school where they learn mains subjetcs. Then, the pupils can go to in a first system, followed by a large majority of pupils is the public system. They are free and without selection ( 90% of pupils in state-run non selective schools) but there is that 20% of pupils who are a very good results. Otherwise, there is a second system, it is a public school. Parents pay so that their children frequent this schools. This are schools to set aside at the richest and for brighter pupils. Nevertheless, 50% obtain notable marks, what is 30% more than the other school. More the A level is naised, more the student increases his chances make up one's mind to attend the university of it's choice because the top universities require excellent A level results. England considers as prestigious university, considered in the world like oxford, harvad. We cas notice that only 5% of pupils from poor neighborhoods make it to these 20 top universities. After their A level, students either the universities or work. Finally I find dammage that it's the rich population wjich access the best schools. There is a disparity in the system education, example, less poor students at britains's top 20 universities. Though, the system education is very good (lot of university consider). I think that other country has took example on British education.

Voila voila, j'espere que vous pourrez m'aider ! :)

Firstly, the British education system is completely different of the french one and a little more complicated. To begin with, the british education system guarantees education until 16 or 18. It's since 5 years ago that school is compulsory, children have too wait for secondary school to learn mains subjetcs. Then, the pupils can go to a first system, followed by a large majority of pupils in the public system. It's free and without selection ( 90% of pupils in non state-run selective schools) but there are 20% of pupils who are really good students and have very good results. Otherwise, there is a second system, it is a private school. Parents have to pay so that their children frequent this schools. This are schools to set aside at the richest and for brighter pupils. Nevertheless, 50% obtain notable marks, what is 30% more than the other school. More the A level is naised, more the student increases their chances make up one's mind to attend the university of it's choice because the top universities require excellent A level results. England considers them as prestigious university, considered in the world like oxford, harvad. We can notice that only 5% of pupils from poor neighborhoods make it to these 20 top universities. After their A level, students either the universities or work. Finally I find dammage that it's the rich population wjich access best schools. There is a disparity in the system education, for example, less poor students at britains's top 20 universities. ALThough, the system education is very good (lot of university consider). I think that other country has took example on British education.